When news broke about the mysterious new disease sweeping the globe, we all kind of shrugged it off at first. The reports claimed it caused those infected to act erratically or foolishly, but come on, people do dumb stuff all the time. How bad could it be? We were about to find out.
My buddy Mike was the first person I knew who got it. Out of nowhere he started making terrible choices, like quitting his job to become a children's party clown, even though he didn't know any magic tricks or balloon animals. When I tried talking sense into him, he accused me of being a negative Nelly who didn't want him to follow his dreams. The old Mike would've never acted so bizarrely.
Over the next few weeks, the stories stacked up fast. My aunt Dorothy mailed her entire retirement fund to a Nigerian prince she met online. My neighbor Carl sold his house and blew the money trying to invent a new color. The outbreak was spreading faster than we could believe. No one knew how it was transmitted. You could be having a pleasant chat with someone and the next day they'd be walking their goldfish on a leash or trying to eat rocks because "they looked tasty." There seemed to be no cure on the horizon either.
Soon the stupidity virus was everywhere. Schools and businesses closed. Governments stopped functioning. Society was falling apart one wacky choice at a time.
Looking back though, I have to admit some of the things people did while infected were pretty hilarious. I'll never forget the time my dentist tried to chop down a tree using only a tablespoon. Or when my butcher attempted to bungee jump off an overpass using rubber bands.
It was all fun and games until...
One day, I woke up and decided that I was going to write a novel. Not just any novel, but a science fiction epic featuring sentient teapots from Mars. It was the first time I'd ever considered writing anything, let alone a novel. I dropped everything, bought a typewriter because "it felt more authentic”.
A few days later, I found myself submitting my manuscript to the top literary agents in the world, fully expecting to be rejected. But to my surprise, they loved it. My novel was published and it quickly soared to the top of the bestseller lists, even landing me a lucrative movie deal.
This 'stupidity' virus, it seemed, was the best thing that ever happened to me.
The Disease