Man, something weird is going on at India Plaza. You know that little Indian grocery store I always hit up over on Lexington? Well I stopped in yesterday to grab some samosas and jalebi like I do every week, but when I walked through the aisles, things seemed...off.
At first I couldn't put my finger on it. The fluorescent lights were flickering like normal, Bollywood hits were blaring on the radio, the smell of spices filled the air. But then I noticed the boxes of ghee didn't look right. The brand name was spelled differently, in a font I'd never seen before. I shrugged it off and kept browsing.
When I got to the snack aisle, the bags of chana masala mix definitely weren't the regular ones carried here. The ingredients listed were odd too, with things like "chickpea analogue" instead of actual chickpeas. Weird.
By the time I spotted lentils labeled as "protein-rich legume pellets" I was really scratching my head. This wasn't the authentic, imported stuff I was used to. It was more like some hipster's interpretation of Indian food.
I took the weird lentils up to the register where Mr. Patel would normally be standing. But it wasn't him behind the counter. Some white college kid with a man bun stared back at me. "That'll be $3.50" he said in a bored voice.
Now I was convinced something sinister was at play. "What's going on here?" I demanded. "This isn't the India Plaza I know! Who are you?"
The kid looked utterly confused as I angrily explained how the products were different, the owner was missing, nothing felt right. Then he glanced around the store and back at me with dawning realization.
"Ohhh, my bad!" he said. "This is Indie Plaza, it's always been that. There's an India Plaza a few blocks over though, maybe that's what you were thinking of?"
My mouth hung open in shock. Indie Plaza? What kind of appropriative nonsense was this? I rushed out feeling sick, and sure enough, two streets down sat the real India Plaza in all its authentic glory.
I don't know how I mixed up the two, but believe me, I won't make that mistake again!
Groceries